Below you will find answers to frequently asked quesitons about Life Coaching services.
As your coach, I will check in with your past but move quickly into the future you want to create. Coaches put you in the driver’s seat and ask you about what you want to work on, but we don’t analyze you and give you a diagnosis as a therapist would. We work with you to move in a positive direction and help you tap into your own inner resources. We approach you as creative, resourceful and whole. Therapy will often be about a past problem and resolving it to help you heal. Coaches are advocates for therapy. If we feel we cannot help you and you would be better served by a therapist, we will talk with you about that possibility.
Coaches differ from consultants in that we don’t enter your situation as though we were the expert and were being asked to give advice or to teach. Instead, coaches will work with you so that you become your best resource. As your coach, I’m especially trained to listen carefully to you and ask powerful questions so that you begin to see your situation with more options and opportunity.
What is the logistics of my being coached (when, how, where, etc.)?
Most of the time I coach clients over the phone or on a video platform. Sometimes I coach in person. Coaches are especially trained to coach over the phone or via video platforms like Zoom or Skype. My office is in the city of Lacey, Washington (Washington State) and that means I’m in the U.S. Pacific Time Zone. I coach during business hours, from 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m., Monday through Friday. Occasionally, I can make special arrangements for appointments at different times.
In most cases we create an agreement where I coach you for one or two sessions per month, for a three to six-month period of time. This window of time allows you enough sessions to understand the value you can get out of coaching. It takes up to three months for you to have the chance to focus on the areas of improvement you want in order for you to see just how much difference coaching makes.
Who would be a good fit for your cancer coaching?
I can coach to a wide variety of circumstances. I work with people who have just been diagnosed and their support persons all the way to working with people who have lost a loved one due to illness and now need to make their journey on a whole new path. The broad theme is that cancer (or any life-changing illness) stops people in their tracks and causes us to reevaluate what life is all about and what we were meant to do in our life. Those who have supported someone with cancer or who have been diagnosed with cancer or a life-changing illness have had their mortality—the reality that we may live a much shorter life than we planned—brought front and center. I help people re-think life under these kinds of circumstances. What we do together is sobering, challenging and yet filled with hope.
I’m a manager and I want to move up in my company, how can you help me?
I can help you get connected with the best aspects of yourself, discover your “why” for your work, and create new potentials and new ways to see your future.
You may be repeating a story about yourself which holds you back and limits your performance. I can help you reconsider that story and become the author of a new one.
You may have given up on aspects of yourself that I can help bring back to life. Additionally, you may have experienced the emotional landscape or your work stifling or worse. I can help you work with your emotions and to see your emotional intelligence as a collaboration with your logical thinking.
I’m a pastor, I’m in conflict and I want a leadership coach. How would you coach me?
If you are a leader and experience conflict, you are not alone. Some would say that if you are a leader and do not experience conflict there is something wrong. I often think it’s best to address both leadership and conflict transformation at the same time. I use a variety of approaches:
- Theological and Biblical understanding of conflict and how to faithfully address it.
- Bowen Family Systems applied to the way leadership can deescalate conflict.
- Interest based mediation for two-party and multi-party work.
- Emotional Intelligence used to enhance a leader’s self-management and social leadership.
- Individual conflict coaching which helps a leader unlock a lot of the key elements of all of the above.
- My own experience as a leader who learned how to navigate through conflict as a background for understanding my clients.
I’m not a pastor, and I’m not religious, but I want leadership coaching. Are you the right coach for me?
I have worked in non-religious, civic settings. I appreciate the earnestness and professionalism people bring to such environments. In fact, sometimes I like those settings more. All of my coach training and mediation training took place in non-religious-based organizations. I currently work as a volunteer at the Dispute Resolution Center of Thurston County, a community based non-profit and non-religious organization. All this to say, I don’t need to use religious language or talk about faith or God or things like that as I work with people. And people don’t need to prove anything to me about their faith preferences or non-preferences.
So, for everyone who is ready to make a big difference in the way they function as a leader and who desires to get right to the work of becoming a highly skilled professional, I’m ready to work with you.
What do you mean by “conflict mediation coaching?”
There are several terms floating around in the world of conflict that can get confusing. I’m a mediator which means that I work with people to find common ground where they can arrive at mutually beneficial agreements. I often like the term conflict transformation better because it implies that there is something good in conflict, it just needs to be transformed into something constructive. Often, it’s the energy that is generated by conflict that can be used as motivation to find a solution everyone can live with.
To add coaching to mix, what I mean by “conflict mediation coaching” is a conversation with a person involved in the conflict about how he or she can change things so that they can eventually create a more desirable outcome. In conflict coaching, or conflict mediation coaching, I use all the tools available to me as a trained coach, mediator, emotional intelligence trainer and facilitator.
I’m on the fence about getting a coach. What do I need to know?
If you can answer yes to the following questions, I think you know enough to choose coaching:
- Have you tried to make changes in your life but had disappointing results?
- Do you feel that you have some urgency around the changes you want to make?
- Do you want to work at it; to prepare for your work and to give time to making changes?
- Are you ready to seek help?
- Have you sorted out that you don’t need therapy, or consulted your therapist and she or he encouraged you to get a coach?
And some special questions for my cancer/life-changing illness people. In your case, a yes answer to any one of these questions may be enough to inform you:
- Are you in shock or panic as the result of a diagnosis or development in your situation?
- Have you found that your medical provider cannot provide the support you need for the emotional and/or spiritual challenges you are experiencing?
- Do you have this feeling that a Cancer Journey Coach can be a good addition to your support team at this time?
- Are you at a stage where you feel some urgency to be constructive with your situation even though you are not sure how to make things work?
- Are you interested in re-thinking your life now that you face the challenge of cancer or a life-changing illness?
- Are you a support person and just need some extra help in managing yourself through these challenging times?
What makes your coaching stand out… why would I choose you?
There are several things that make me unique as a coach. First my experience in working with people as a pastor since 1992. In that setting, I’ve learned a great deal about people, about what it takes to be a leader and to support other leaders. I’ve gained experience in dealing with conflict and in helping others through conflict.
Second, I’ve had the advantage of an enormous amount of education from a doctorate in preaching and theology to two unique and highly acclaimed coaching schools, to formal training in mediation, emotional intelligence and facilitation. And third, I’ve had a chance to learn in the context of all those settings, to be corrected and encouraged and to build networks of colleagues with whom I learn and collaborate.
The distinctions of my coaching perspective also make me an excellent coach. I use a number of broad-ranged models of coaching as a guide. One of those models helps me view people and their potentials through three lenses: their body, their emotions and their language. Each of these lenses are whole disciplines in and of themselves, but what makes them powerful is when I help clients combine them to access their whole selves. This is as exciting for me to watch as it is for my clients to see in themselves. Another distinction is that I work co-actively with clients. This means that my coaching is not just about you as my client or me as your coach. Instead there is something powerful that happens when we are together in a coaching relationship. There is a synergy and this causes some wonderful, creative insight and energy for my clients on their way to becoming whole and empowered.
I just got diagnosed with cancer, how can you help me and those close to me?
The initial diagnosis is something that we all remember. Most of us remember the time, the place, what the room was like, who was with us, etc. It comes with emotions that are usually vivid. One of the things Cancer Journey Coaches do is to help people pause and catch their breath. We do this by helping you get more present with what you have in this moment… and literally breath. Another thing we use is called the Cancer Journey Roadmap. Primarily this roadmap allows you to see the situation you are experiencing in the context of a past, a present and a future; there is a road ahead for you and as a coach I’ll be there at every turn to support you.